


You're a Goddess, And I'm a Fool

by owarijanai



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Pining, awkward love, just a touch nothing huge, mark is awkward as all hell, some minor side johnjae, this fic is literally just Fool come to life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19905355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owarijanai/pseuds/owarijanai
Summary: Awkward. The word that seemed to describe everything about Mark and nothing about Taeyong. He couldn’t imagine someone so brilliant and beautiful feeling awkward.(or, Mark has no idea how to act around his crush.)





	You're a Goddess, And I'm a Fool

Mark’s headphones were broken.

He stared down at them in dismay. The left earbud had fizzled out between classes, leaving only the right one working; it still didn’t work well, though, and the sound came out tinny. With a sigh, he threw them in the closest trashcan and headed to the student center. He had an hour before his next class, more than enough time to buy a new pair from the shop before he met up with his friends. The headphones sold on campus were a bit expensive, but he needed them, so he figured the splurge wasn't too big of a deal. 

New headphones in hand, Mark headed over to the café by the student center, not at all surprised to see Donghyuck and Doyoung already sitting there.

“Sorry,” he said, rushed.

Donghyuck waved him off. “We were just about to go over our notes.”

“Cool.” Mark sat down, fishing the new pack of headphones from his backpack. The cord was kinked up from the packaging, which was annoying, but he knew they’d straighten out soon. “You guys nervous?”

“Nah,” Doyoung said. He took a sip of his coffee, grimacing a little after. “ _Ugh._ But no, I’m not nervous. It’s just History.”

“Remind me why you’re taking this again?”

“Not _again_ , I just never took it. Kinda forgot.”

“It’s on your course schedule when you sign up for classes,” Donghyuck pointed out.

Doyoung shrugged. “I’m doing it now, aren’t I? Besides, it gives me a chance to hang out with my favorite freshies.”

Mark snorted. “Whatever. Can we just go over the notes now?”

“Sure, sure.”

The test wasn’t until tomorrow, but Mark and Donghyuck both wanted to get some group studying in before then. The professor for History, even though it was entry-level, was strict as all hell, and Mark wanted to make sure he was as prepared as possible for the test.

“Oh, by the way, Taeyong is meeting me here soon,” Doyoung said, breaking away from his papers. He gave Mark a _look_. “He wanted to get coffee since I have two hours between classes.”

“Lucky,” Donghyuck grumbled. “I have Science soon.”

“I don’t miss the days of Gen Ed.”

“You’re still doing it!”

“Just one class. I remember when all my coursework was Gen Ed. That was the _worst_.”

Mark nodded, trying to breathe. Taeyong was coming. Taeyong was going to meet them there. Well, he was going to meet Doyoung, but still, he would be there. Mark had never been formally introduced, had only seen him in dance productions on campus, but the thought of meeting the pretty senior officially was making his palms sweat.

“Mark?” Donghyuck waved a hand in front of his face.

“Huh?” Mark straightened, nearly knocking Doyoung’s coffee over—”hey, watch it!”—and then went still when he saw a familiar face cutting through the crowd toward them. Donghyuck must have seen the way he paled, because he turned, noticing Taeyong, and then grinned.

“Here he comes,” he sing-songed, elbowing Mark in the ribs.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Language, Mark Lee.”

“Hey, guys!” Taeyong looked a little out of breath but still ethereal. He grinned at them, tilting his head to the side. Black hair with streaks of blue in it fell into his gaze, and his dark eyes were accentuated by a bit of eyeliner on his bottom waterline. A spattering of jewelry glinted from his ears—studs on both, and then a single dangling earring in his left ear that jingled when he moved. Despite his accessories, he was dressed quite simply, wearing dark-wash jeans and a red, long-sleeved shirt pushed up around his elbows. Mark again lost the ability to form proper sentences.

And maybe breathe.

“Hey, Yong,” Doyoung said. “Get you a coffee. I’ll save you a seat.”

“Thanks!” His smile was so bright. Mark knew he was staring, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Oh, these are my freshie friends, by the way,” Doyoung said. “This is Donghyuck and Mark. Donghyuck is a vocal major, Mark is undecided.”

Taeyong nodded. “It’s nice to meet you!”

“Yeah, you too,” Donghyuck said. He was still grinning.

Mark swallowed hard. “I-I’ve seen some of your dances,” he said slowly, feeling his face heat up when everyone looked at him. “You’re really good.”

Taeyong beamed. “Oh, thank you. You’re too sweet. Mark, right?”

Mark nodded dumbly. _Sweet. He thinks I’m sweet._

“Well, there’s another performance coming up soon. The Fall Concert. You should definitely come.”

Mark unstuck his tongue from the rough of his mouth, but his voice sounded raspy still when he spoke. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Taeyong’s eyes crinkled up at the edges. “Cool. Let me go get some coffee; I’ll come back once I’m properly caffeinated.” He set his bag down and then ambled off to the café. Mark exhaled in his wake, putting his head down on the table.

“You’re such a dork,” Donghyuck said.

“Go to hell.”

“ _Language._ ”

Trying to concentrate on going over the History notes while Lee Taeyong was sitting right across from him, talking softly with Doyoung, was one of the hardest things Mark felt like he’d ever done. He kept zoning out, prompting Donghyuck to tease him into oblivion. Taeyong didn’t notice, but Doyoung occasionally gave him sympathetic looks. Mark hated both his friends right then.

Once they were finished, Donghyuck left to get ready for his next class. Mark still had some time; his next class wasn’t for fifteen minutes and, unlike Donghyuck, it was in the building right across from the student center.

“Here,” he said, handing Doyoung’s notes back to him. “Thanks for lending those to me.”

“No problem. Feel like you’re ready?”

“As ready as I can be.”

“Big test?” Taeyong asked, sipping on his iced latte. Mark’s eyes followed the motion of his lips wrapping around the straw, but he quickly looked away once he realized he could feel his ears going red.

“Uh, yeah. History. It’s the last big test before midterms.”

“You’ll do great.”

Mark felt his face heat up. “Oh, thanks.”

“Doyoung said you’re undecided on your major?”

_Jesus._ Taeyong was having a conversation with him, naturally, like everything was fine and Mark wasn’t about to collapse from holding his breath. “Yeah, I mean, no, I haven’t. Decided, that is.” He wanted to punch himself in the face. “I just haven’t really figured out what I wanted to do. I originally came in as a business major, but that quickly became something I hated, so I dropped it.” He shrugged.

“You’ve still got time,” Taeyong assured him. “You just have to find what you love and go after it. Sometimes, it’s simple and you know right away; other times, it takes a bit longer to find.”

Mark nodded. “I like … rapping.”

“Oh?” Taeyong’s eyes widened.

“He’s pretty good,” Doyoung piped up, “I’ve heard him in the showers sometimes.”

Mark blanched. “Doyoung!”

“What? I have!”

Doyoung was good friends with Mark’s roommate, Johnny. Both seniors. Mark had been lucky to get a room with a senior; he had his own bathroom instead of having to use the communal showers in the freshman dorm. The only reason he got it was because he and Johnny knew each other, and Johnny requested him as a roommate. Otherwise he probably would have been stuck in the freshman dorm with Donghyuck.

Taeyong was smiling around the straw still in his mouth. Mark had to try really hard to look somewhere else, to not notice the playfulness in the senior’s eyes. _Goddamn, what’s wrong with me?_

“I’d like to hear you rap sometime,” Taeyong said. “I do too, as an accompaniment to my dancing. Hip-hop is pretty great.”

Mark nodded, excited. “Yeah, I love hip-hop.”

“Can you dance?”

“… A little.”

“You should come by the studio, then! I’m there just about every night. I’d love to see your moves.”

Mark could feel something rising up in his throat. It felt like a scream, maybe. He tamped it down and spoke through gritted teeth. “Thanks, I’d love to.”

“Great.”

“Isn’t your next class soon?” Doyoung asked then.

_Shit._ He had three minutes. “Damn it, I have to go. Sorry! I’ll see you guys later!” he grabbed his things and sprinted from the student center, secretly relieved at having an out but also sad he couldn’t stare at Taeyong anymore.

Disregarding that line of thoughts so he didn’t walk into class completely red-faced, Mark pushed open the door to the lecture hall.

Dinner that night was awful.

Mark walked into the caf right when it opened, fully prepared to stomach whatever shit they were serving, only to pause at the buffet and realize that he wasn’t even sure he could keep it down if he _did_ eat. Frowning, he set his tray off to the side and walked to the table where all his friends sat. Doyoung and Johnny were there, plus Jaehyun, Johnny’s boyfriend and a vocal major, Donghyuck, and Yuta, another friend of Doyoung’s Mark didn’t know well. They were all chattering amicably.

“Hey, Mark!” Donghyuck called. “Where’s your food?”

“It looks disgusting tonight.”

Johnny nodded. “It is.”

“Want to go somewhere else?”

Everyone perked up. Mark noticed the people who had trays at the table had barely eaten, and he knew he’d won.

“Where should we go?” Jaehyun asked. His hair was petal-pink now, curling softly over his forehead. Last time Mark saw him, it had been brown. It looked good. For some reason, it made Mark think of the only other person he knew with abnormal colors in their hair. Dark hair with streaks of blue, dangly earrings jingling together—

“How about that place that express hibachi place down the road?” Johnny suggested, pulling Mark out of his (embarrassing) thoughts.

Everyone chorused their agreement and got up, grabbing bags and discarding their half-eaten trays of cafeteria food. They planned to only take two cars—Johnny’s and Doyoung’s—to minimize gas prices.

Mark felt good, excited, buzzing with the boost in energy everyone had now knowing they were going to go off-campus. It wasn’t like it was a rare thing, but especially for those who lived in the dorms, it was nice to get away.

“Taeyong-hyung! Come with us!” Jaehyun called out.

Mark froze.

Taeyong was walking into the caf, backpack slung around his shoulders. He was dressed similarly to earlier, just a bit more casual—dark jeans and a white t-shirt that conformed to the angles of his body perfectly. His earrings were still in, and he looked radiant. Mark swallowed hard.

“Where are you going?” the senior asked, looking at the group of them.

“Out to eat; the caf food is bad tonight,” Johnny said.

“Worse than usual?”

“ _Way_ worse.”

“Then I’m in.” He smiled, blinding, and fell into step behind them. His gaze found Mark then and he smiled. “Hey, Mark.”

“Oh, uh, hi.”

“You’re coming too?”

“It was his idea,” Jaehyun said.

Taeyong nodded. “I should have known.”

Mark didn’t really know how to reply to that, so he opted to stay silent, just smiling a little in reply.

The parking lot where Johnny and Doyoung parked their cars was a five-minute walk from the caf. They all joked and ribbed at each other as they left the student center, their laughter curling up into the heavy night air. Trees around them on the path reached skyward, and Mark tilted his head back, enjoying the smell of the breeze and the gentle quiet of the night sky. It was September, but the last vestiges of summer were still clinging to the month, unwilling to leave quite yet. Mark didn’t mind; he liked the heat.

He ended up in Johnny’s car, Jaehyun in the passenger’s seat, and then him and Taeyong in the back. Yuta and Donghyuck went with Doyoung, the latter making kissy faces at Mark when Taeyong wasn’t looking. Mark flipped him off.

“Where are we going again?” Taeyong asked. He was leaning forward in his seat to talk to Johnny, his earrings jingling with the movement.

Johnny started the car, waiting to answer until after it rumbled to life. “This little express hibachi place. It’s really good and pretty cheap, too.”

“Perfect.”

As they drove away, Mark looked out the window, watching campus recede into the distance behind him before he let out the breath he’d been holding. Going somewhere off-campus was hard for him sometimes since he didn’t have a car, and he treasured every chance he got to go on a little adventure with his friends.

And Lee Taeyong, apparently.

Mark glanced at the older man. He had his head propped up in one hand, leaning on the door. The light from the yellowed streetlamps dotted along the street passed over his face in intervals, like something out of a movie. Mark felt starstruck.

“Mark?”

“Hm, what?” Taeyong was looking at him now, his gaze questioning.

“I asked if you’d been to this hibachi place before.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I have a couple times.”

“And you liked it?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good. Their chicken hibachi is my favorite.”

“Their sushi is also good!” Jaehyun said from the front.

“Two things I love.” Taeyong grinned, eyes twinkling. Mark looked away before he blurted out everything he was thinking. Being around this beautiful man was starting to get dangerous; someday soon, if Taeyong kept smiling at him like that, he’d just spill his guts in front of everyone.

He cleared his throat, veering off from that line of thinking as they arrived at the restaurant.

It was little more than a hole-in-the-wall, and the neon sign over the door that read _EXPRESS HIBACHI_ flickered every few moments. Inside, it looked more like a diner, with red vinyl booth chairs and tile flooring, the smell of fried food filling the air. Mark inhaled and sighed happily; this was way better than the caf. Besides, it was a nice treat, something they didn’t get to do often enough.

“What do you usually get?” That was Taeyong, so close behind him Mark could feel the older man’s breath along the back of his neck. Goosebumps raised in response.

“U-um, well, I did say the chicken hibachi is my favorite, but I’m thinking of going for the vegetable one tonight.”

“I do always say you don’t eat enough vegetables,” Donghyuck said, coming out of nowhere and throwing an arm around Mark’s shoulder. Mark shoved him off, rolling his eyes at the other’s mischievous laughter, but found himself smiling too.

After ordering one at a time, slowly due to the amount of them in the otherwise empty place, they claimed a line of booths and began to sit, chatting as they waited for their food. Mark ordered and sat down next to Donghyuck, Yuta sitting across from them. Mark figured this would be a good time to get to know the senior better when Taeyong sat down at their booth also.

“Hey, Yuta,” He said, obviously already acquainted with the Japanese man.

Yuta grinned at him. “Hey, your last showcase was awesome.”

“Thanks.” Taeyong ducked his head, embarrassed. Mark thought his heart would beat out of his chest when he saw a faint blush coloring the senior’s cheeks.

“When’s your next one?” Donghyuck asked. “Mark really wants to go.”

Mark kicked him under the table. Donghyuck barely reacted, the demon.

“Oh?” Taeyong smiled at Mark. The flush on his cheeks from Yuta’s compliment was still fading, leaving him looking ethereal in the dingy light coming from the fluorescent bulbs overhead. Mark wondered if something was wrong with him. “Well, the Fall Concert is coming up soon, like I said. It’s set for the end of this month. We’re supposed to announce the date tomorrow, actually.”

Donghyuck nodded. “We’ll be there.”

“I’ll look for you!” Taeyong turned back to Mark. “And remember, you’re welcome by the studio any time, Mark.”

The senior’s order was called then, prompting him to get up and go get it. Yuta stared at Mark in his wake, eyes narrowed. Mark didn’t know how to react to the scrutiny.

“Um, yes?”

“Taeyong was flirting with you.”

Mark’s face heated up so fast he thought he’d spontaneously combust. “What? No, he wasn’t!”

Yuta laughed. Taeyong came back just then, but he didn’t seem to notice Mark frantically trying to calm himself down and cool off his burning cheeks.

The rest of dinner went about the same, with Donghyuck and now Yuta teaming up to mess with Mark. Taeyong remained oblivious to it all, blinking at Mark with wide eyes when he choked on his food or went red with embarrassment due to Donghyuck and Yuta’s incessant teasing. By the end of it, Mark was so high-strung from tip-toeing around Taeyong he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle the ride home.

It was a couple hours later now. Doyoung yawned widely as they all got back into their respective cars to head back to campus. Honestly, Mark wasn’t sure why the seniors lived on-campus anyway. Yuta and Taeyong didn’t, but Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Johnny all lived in the dorms; Mark didn’t understand. He was planning on getting an apartment off-campus the _moment_ he became a junior.

Taeyong was sitting beside him in the backseat again. Johnny had music playing low up front, but he and Jaehyun were ignoring it in favor of speaking in hushed voices. Jaehyun’s smile was so wide it made his eyes twinkle, and Mark could _hear_ the affection in Johnny’s voice even if he couldn’t quite make out what was being said. Sometimes, he was jealous of them; at times like this, he just let their warmth envelop him, releasing the stress he always held in his shoulders and sagging a little against the headrest as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Mark.”

Mark opened his eyes, startled when he found Taeyong leaning close to him. “O-oh, yes, hyung?”

The senior grinned. “You called me hyung.”

“Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.” He sat back. “Sorry if I startled you, I just wasn’t sure if you were asleep or not.”

“No, just resting my eyes.”

“Uh-huh.” Taeyong chuckled. “I’m excited to see you at the Fall Concert, but I hope we’ll run into each other before then.”

He sounded so earnest. Mark felt something in him short-circuit, which is why his next words came out without any help from his brain. “I can come by the studio tomorrow night, if you’ll be there.”

Taeyong’s smile widened. “I’ll be there.”

“Cool.”

Johnny pulled into campus just then, right into their shared dorm’s parking lot. Mark sighed as he unbuckled and grabbed his things. Doyoung had parked across the way, but he could still see Donghyuck waving at him. Yuta, too. He waved back, surprised when he realized no one else was getting out at this stop.

“I’m going to drop Taeyong off by his car since it’s on the other side of campus,” Johnny said. “We’ll be back in a bit.”

Mark nodded and moved to close the door, only to pause when Taeyong reached out and grabbed his hand.

“I had fun tonight, Mark.”

The touch sent electricity zinging down Mark’s spine, curling along his limbs until he felt like he’d implode. Taeyong’s fingers were long and thin and elegant, and as he let go and sat back, he smiled and gave Mark a little wink.

Then they were gone.

Mark continued to stand there, open-mouthed.

“Your face will get stuck like that,” Donghyuck said, again appearing from the void or wherever he went in his spare time.

“I …” Mark looked down at his hand. He could still feel a tingle of energy from Taeyong’s fingers. “He winked at me.”

Donghyuck nodded. “You should listen to Yuta-hyung.”

“What, that he was flirting with me?” Mark scoffed.

“He _winked_ at you, Mark Lee. Did he do anything else?”

“Well, he uh … he grabbed my hand and—and told me he had a good time.”

“He _held_ your _hand_? What else does he have to do to get it through your thick skull that he’s interested?”

Mark shook his head. “He’s … why would he be interested in me?”

Donghyuck went silent.

“He’s beautiful and perfect, kind and sweet, talented and gorgeous and ethereal and I’m just … I’m just Mark.”

“All right, stop that. No being mopey on my watch.” Donghyuck grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him around so they were facing each other. “I’m gonna help you get that dick.”

Mark spluttered. “ _Donghyuck!_ ”

“What, I am!”

“I don’t want your help,” Mark mumbled halfheartedly.

“But you need it.” He stepped back, clapping his hands together. “First things first, he invited you to go to the studio, right?”

“Oh, yeah, uh … I actually told him in the car just now that I’d come by tomorrow.”

“Perfect! One step closer to dick!”

“Please stop.”

Donghyuck was no help at all.

Mark stood, staring at himself in his bathroom mirror. Classes had ended for the day, and he had a few hours to kill before it was time for him to meet Taeyong at the studio. Despite this, his nerves were frayed, his senses on high-alert. He ran a hand through his messy blond hair, trying in vain to get it to do what he wanted before finally giving up. He hoped it at least looked messy in a handsome way.

All of Donghyuck’s advice had been lewd, but that wasn’t what Mark was going for. It’d be nice, yes, but there were plenty of other things to think about before he got there. Like holding Taeyong’s hand, or kissing him, maybe.

Mark buried his head in his hands. _I’m pathetic._

“Rough day?” Johnny called.

Sighing, Mark emerged from the bathroom. “Please kill me.”

Johnny grimaced. He was laying on his bed, reading something from a textbook. “Oof. I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

“I’m going by the studio tonight,” Mark said, flopping down on their couch.

“… Taeyong’s studio?”

Mark flinched at the knowing tone Johnny sported. “God, I must be so fucking obvious.”

“Yeah, bud. But I also think _he’s_ obvious. He’s been dropping not-so-subtle hints since you guys met, right?”

“I don’t get it, though!” Mark didn’t want to voice the same things he did to Donghyuck the night before, but he could feel the word-vomit coming, rushing up the back of his throat. “Like, he’s a senior, for one, and I’ve only ever watched him dancing and had a crush on him from afar, but then he meets me and is instantly just … beautiful and brilliant and … why would he be interested in me? I don’t _understand_.”

Johnny’s expression contorted, his lips pulling into a frown. “Why _wouldn’t_ he be interested in you, Mark?”

“I don’t know.”

“Obviously you do since you’re the one who said it.”

“Because I’m—I’m no one. I’m just Mark. Why would Lee Taeyong, super-talented and gorgeous Lee Taeyong, be interested in me?”

“Why are you talking like you don’t have any redeeming qualities?”

Mark gestured vaguely, unsure where he was going with this. “I mean … just look at him.”

“Well, look at it this way,” Johnny said, setting his book down and turning to face Mark, “If someone you think of that way, someone you think is beautiful and talented and brilliant, notices you, don’t you think you have those qualities too? Or is Taeyong not a good judge of character?”

Mark’s mouth fell open. He stared at Johnny a moment, silent, before scoffing. “That’s cheating.”

“It’s true, though.”

Strangely, Mark felt better. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m just scared I’ll embarrass myself.”

“At the studio?”

“In general.”

Johnny chuckled. “You know, growing up is a weird thing. Most people don’t really figure out who they are until a bit farther down the road, long after college is said and done. You don’t have to have everything figured out _right now_. Just go with the flow.”

He always knew what to say. Mark relaxed a little. “Yeah … I guess you’re right.”

“Of course, I’m right. I can’t remember a time I was wrong!”

Mark threw a pillow at him.

Mark fumbled with his student ID, running his fingertips along its plastic edges. The studio lights were on, and if he listened hard enough, he thought he could hear the familiar pounding of bass. It was a little after six, and the sun was beginning to set, leaving him feeling sticky as sweat dried on the back of his neck. Inside was probably air conditioned, but still Mark hesitated, his nerves getting the better of him.

In the end, Mark wasn’t sure what, exactly, prompted him to scan his ID and enter the building, but then he was walking down a long corridor, and everything was fine. Each studio had a plaque next to it with a number and the department it belonged to; their school was focused on fine arts, so they had more dance and vocal studios than most. Taeyong said he was in studio five.

Mark found it a little way down the hall. He could see a few people practicing already through the little window on the door, could faintly hear lyrics of a familiar song too, and again he hesitated. He didn’t want to interrupt.

Then the door swung open, revealing Taeyong standing there, and Mark froze.

He was dressed in simple stuff now, black sweats and a loose black tee. His hair was damp with sweat, pressed against the sides of his face, those ever-present earrings still dangling from his ears. Mark let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“You probably shouldn’t dance with earrings in.”

Taeyong regarded him a moment before he laughed, fingering the silver, cross-shaped one in his right ear. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I didn’t really think about it.” He stepped back, giving Mark room. “Anyway, come on in! We’re just taking a break right now.”

The studio looked pretty much the same as every other one Mark had ever been in—hardwood floors, a line of mirrors on the far side complete with a barre, and windows to the left to let in natural light. There were speakers mounted on the walls, playing something funky and fast-paced at a low volume. Two other dancers were standing by the mirrors, chatting and scrolling through their phones.

Mark set down his bag. “This is nice,” he said, glancing at Taeyong. “Reminds me of the place I used to practice at back home.”

“Oh yeah? And you did hip-hop there?”

“Some freestyling too.”

Taeyong nodded. “I do a little bit of contemporary, but aside from that, it’s hip-hop and freestyle for me also. Freestyling is my favorite.” He shrugged. “But I can work with choreo.”

“Are you working on the Fall Concert choreo now?”

“Yes and no. We’re taking a break for tonight because we’ve been working on it nonstop the past few weeks.”  


“Oh, yeah. It’s good to change things up sometimes.”

“Exactly.”

Mark couldn’t believe this. They were having a normal conversation; he hadn’t said anything stupid yet. That was nice.

“We’re headed out, Yong,” one of the other dancers said then. “Don’t forget to lock up when you’re done.”

“Will do!”

The two left, and suddenly Mark and Taeyong were alone. That sense of confidence began to fade, leaving Mark feeling awkward. He hadn’t thought they would be alone.

“Um, so, what do you want to do first?” Mark asked, slow. His palms felt sweaty.

Taeyong grinned, eyes twinkling. “Let me see your moves.”

“… Okay.”

It had been a while, and Mark was dreadfully out of practice, but he’d at least had the foresight to stretch and warm up beforehand. Once he said he was ready, Taeyong brought up a playlist on his phone.

It took Mark a moment to get into the groove of the music Taeyong began to play, some rap song he’d never heard, but once he just closed his eyes and let himself _move_ , he began to get into it. He swayed with the tempo, tried a couple flourishing moves, and just let himself flow. It felt so good to give in, to release himself to the music. He’d forgotten how amazing it was to let his body take over and just block out the rest of the world for a little while.

When he came out of it, a bit more sweaty and out-of-breath, Taeyong was applauding. Mark flushed.

“Stop, it wasn’t that great.”

Taeyong scoffed. “Considering it’s been a while since you’ve danced, that was good! You just need to get back into the swing of it, get limbered up more.”

“Yeah, I bet I looked pretty tense.”

“Just a little in a few places, but overall, really good job!”

Mark couldn’t decide if Taeyong was just being nice or really meant it, but then he thought back to what Johnny said— _is Taeyong not a good judge of character?_ —and decided to just let himself enjoy the compliment.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They tried a few freestyles together, laughing and enjoying the music. Taeyong let Mark pick some of the songs, clapping his hands in excitement when something came on that he knew, and Mark honestly felt like he was living the dream. The older man kept grasping at his hand and laughing at the things he said, giving him pointers on his dancing and getting so close Mark could smell his shampoo—something fresh and clean, simple. It was amazing. The best thing Mark had ever smelled.

In the end, Taeyong was the one who realized how late it was and decided he needed to lock up for the night. They gathered their things in a soft silence that, for once, didn’t feel supercharged with awkwardness. Mark had enjoyed himself; he could tell Taeyong had, too.

“I had fun,” Taeyong said as they left the studio, the click of the lock echoing a little in the hallway.

“Me too.”

The older man smiled, blinding. “Want to get lunch with me tomorrow?”

Mark didn’t even have to think about that. He got to stare at Taeyong more, so that was perfect. “Sure!”

“Cool. When do you have time?”

“My eleven o’ clock class gets out a little before noon. I can meet you in the caf then.”

Taeyong chuckled. “Mark, I meant go out to lunch, you know. Somewhere off-campus.”

“Oh.” Mark felt his face heat up. Off-campus lunch, just the two of them. Did Taeyong mean a _date_? Was Taeyong was asking him out on a _date_? If he was, should Mark say something? But oh—oh, God, he started to speak before the thought finished processing in his brain, the words “are you asking me on a date?” spilling from his lips before he could stop them.

And Taeyong, he began to laugh.

Mark felt so small.

“You’re cute,” Taeyong said between giggles, “Yes, I’m asking you on a date.”

Never mind. Mark was on cloud nine. “I-I’d love to go,” he stammered. “Where?”

“There’s this little café nearby that sells really amazing soups and salads. Sound good?”

Mark honestly didn’t care where they went. “It sounds perfect.”

“Great. Then I’ll see you tomorrow at noon. I’ll pick you up from the student center.”

“Okay.” Mark could not believe his luck.

As they walked out of the studio building, Taeyong’s fingers brushed his—just a small touch, but it was electric to Mark, sending sizzles up and down his arm until he felt like he was on fire. He swallowed hard, trying to sum up his courage. After all, Taeyong had already expressed his interest, and it seemed like he _wanted_ Mark to hold his hand.

_Ah, fuck it._

Mark took his hand. Taeyong immediately threaded their fingers together, and Mark felt himself melt. Amazing. This was amazing. Nothing else could beat this.

They walked across the darkened campus, hand-in-hand, silent. The lamps set all around the sidewalk came on as they went past, illuminating them in a ghostly halogen glow. Mark glanced at Taeyong without thinking and nearly lost his breath; the older man looked like someone out of a fairy tale in the darkness, just one side of his face brightened by the lights along the walkway. Silver sparkled along the lobe of his ear, and for a moment, Mark had a terribly delicious fantasy about running his tongue over the curve and catching his teeth on the metal there.

“Do you need a ride back to your dorm?” Taeyong asked, and only then did Mark notice they were standing in the parking lot now, next to what he assumed was Taeyong’s car.

“Um.” Mark’s brain struggled to catch up, lingering on soft lips and a sharp jawline. His dorm was pretty far away, on the other side of campus. He could walk if he wanted to, but he kind of didn’t. He kind of just wanted to stare at Taeyong for the rest of his life. “I mean … if you don’t mind?”

Taeyong beamed. “Not at all. Come on.”

The senior’s car was an older model, a shadow of black in the darkness, but it was in good condition, clean inside and out and obviously taken care of. Mark thought of Doyoung’s car, how there was always shit in the backseat he had to push out of the way or move to the trunk, or Johnny’s that always smelled kind of like a gym session, and found he preferred this much more.

“Thank you,” Mark said as Taeyong pulled out of the lot and headed toward the dorms. “I didn’t really feel like walking all that way.” Aside from just wanting to spend more time with Taeyong, he was also pretty tired from dancing, and he knew his muscles would be screaming in the morning. He was too out-of-practice to _not_ be sore.

Taeyong nodded. “It’s no problem.” Then, quieter, he said, “And it means I can spend more time with you.”

And in that moment, Mark wanted to spill everything. Wanted to ask why Taeyong was interested in _him_ , of all people. But the words wouldn’t come, and then they were pulling up to his dorm, and the moment was lost. Mark let out a sigh, not even sure where the urge to spill his guts to Taeyong came from. Or why. All things considered, he’d only known the guy personally for a few days.

“Well, here we are,” Taeyong said, a little sadly, parking in front of the main entrance. “I’ll see you tomorrow at noon?”

“Tomorrow at noon,” Mark said as he grabbed his things.

“Cool.”

“And, Taeyong … ?”

The senior peered at him from the driver’s side, eyes twinkling, smile soft and bright. God, Mark wanted to kiss him. “Yes?”

“Thanks again, for everything.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Mark watched him drive away, standing there for a few moments before he gave a victory punch, _whoop_ ing under his breath, dancing on his way into the dorm. He felt so good, like he was high above the clouds, too far away for anything ridiculous like self-doubt to bother him. Mark hummed a soft tune as he grabbed his keys and unlocked the door to his room.

Johnny was still awake, which wasn’t surprising. Damn night owl. He sat on his bed as usual, legs pulled up to his chest, textbook propped up on his knees. Mark couldn’t wipe the stupid grin from his face as he entered their room, throwing his bag down on the floor and collapsing on the couch.

“Seeing as you’re smiling, I’ll take it things went well?” Johnny asked. He didn’t even look up from what he was reading.

“Yeah, it was good.” _Beyond_ good. Mark could still feel the ghost of Taeyong’s hand in his, spreading along his nerve endings like wildfire.

“And?”

Mark sat up, still grinning. “We have a date tomorrow.”

Johnny nodded sagely. “You took my advice.”

“Hey, don’t act like this was all your doing. I had a part in it, too, you know.”

“Sure, sure. Where are you going?”

“Just out to lunch, off-campus.” Mark wasn’t going to mention the part where he blurted out the words _are you asking me on a date_ right in Lee Taeyong’s face, mainly because the awkward moment was obsolete now. Taeyong had asked him on a date, and they were going on a date. That was all there was to it. “This little café he chose.”

“Well, I hope you have fun.” Johnny smiled at him. “Taeyong’s a great guy.”  


Mark nodded, flopping back down on the cushions. He lifted his right hand up, inspecting it where Taeyong had tangled their fingers together. He’d done it like it was the easiest thing in the world, like it hadn’t almost made Mark burst into flames right then and there.

Eventually, Johnny fell asleep. Mark went to bed not long later.

Still smiling.

The next day, just as expected, Mark woke feeling like he’d been run over.

He’d known it was coming. That didn’t mean he didn’t get to bitch about it. Groaning, Mark rolled out of bed; he tried to favor the side that was less sore, only to realize there was no such thing. He was just sore all over.

Johnny was in the shower; Mark could hear the water running. He sighed as he ambled over to his closet and picked something out to wear.

_Are you asking me on a date?_

Mark cringed. In the morning light, without the physical reminder of Taeyong’s presence standing there next to him, it almost felt like last night had been a dream. If it wasn’t for how sore Mark was, he would’ve believed it had never happened.

He still couldn’t believe it _had._

“Stop thinking so hard,” Johnny said, coming out of the bathroom. His hair was damp but fluffy where he’d towel-dried it. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Mark _thunk_ ed his head against the door of his closet. “I’m an idiot.”

“Yes.”

“Thanks, Johnny.” He fixed the taller man with a glare that ended up looking more like a pout.

“Wait.” Johnny frowned. “Don’t you have a lunch date with Taeyong today? Are you not excited?”

“I am! I’m just … I’m worried I’m going to say or do something stupid or awkward.”

“Hey, you didn’t do anything stupid or awkward when he asked you out before—”

“Yes, I did.”

Johnny looked at him a moment. “But he still asked you out.”

“What?”

“He still asked you out, which means either that thing you thought was stupid and awkward wasn’t really—”

“It was,” Mark interrupted. He cringed just thinking about it.

“— _Or_ ,” Johnny stressed, “You _did_ do something stupid and awkward, but he asked you out anyway because he likes you and he thinks you’re cute.”

Mark frowned, considering. Taeyong had, in fact, called him cute after he blurted out those stupid, stupid words, and he had still seemed interested. Obviously. He held Mark’s hand and drove him to his dorm, stars in his eyes as he confirmed they were on for today.

Mark suddenly felt like maybe ... Johnny was right.

As if sensing his wavering, Johnny sat back. “Mark, whatever happens, I think you can rest assured that Taeyong isn’t just doing this for no reason. He asked you out because he likes you and he wants to get to know you better. Stressing over whether or not you’re going to say something dumb is moot, and I don’t think he’d care even if you did.”

Damn it. His logic was sound. Mark hated him.

“Now, go get ready for the day, champ.” Johnny shooed him into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Mark sighed, but in reality, he was thankful. Johnny always knew exactly what he needed to hear. Mark decided right then and there that whenever he figured out who he was, whenever he grew up, he wanted to be like Johnny.

Mark stared at himself in the mirror. _Since when did I get so sentimental?_

Since, perhaps, a starry-eyed boy with soft hands and pretty lips and a smile that made his heart flutter came into his life. Mark narrowed his eyes at his reflection before stripping down and stepping into the shower.

The hot water running along his shoulders and down his back felt _heavenly_ , and Mark ended up staying under the spray a bit longer than normal, reveling in the feeling of the heat unraveling his tense muscles. By the time he got out, the mirror was fogged up and Johnny was gone for his classes. Mark got ready on his own, excited and a bit skittish now, but still feeling good.

Taeyong had asked him on a date.

A _date._

It was almost nine. Mark’s first class was soon, and then there would only be one more after that before it was time to meet Taeyong at noon. He had a small break in between, which was nice, during which he had to meet up with Donghyuck and go over some notes on one of their other classes. They had a quiz tomorrow; Mark wasn’t super worried about it, but he still wanted to get a bit of studying in today.

Mark grabbed his backpack as he headed out the door.

Classes sailed by that morning, and Mark was so glad; he’d been afraid they would drag on and on, taking forever. But within what felt like moments, he was in the student center, going over notes with Donghyuck. The younger boy had been pretty talkative, as usual, but Mark was lost in his own mind, zoning out every few moments to thoughts of dark eyes and dark hair and a soft smile.

Donghyuck snapped his fingers in front of Mark’s face.

“What?” Mark blinked, straightening in his seat.

“Dude, you’ve been spacey today. What’s up?”

“Ah.” Right. Mark hadn’t told him. “Sorry, I, uh, I have a date later, so I’m a bit distracted, I guess.”

“A date?” Donghyuck grinned. “With Taeyong?”

“… Yes.”

“ _My evil plan is working._ ”

Mark shoved him. “You had nothing to do with it! It was all Johnny, actually.”

Donghyuck pouted, just for a second, before that grin returned. “Yeah, but you liked my plan.”

“Not at all.”

“Liar.”

They finished up their studying, and Mark left to head to his next class. His last class of the morning. The lecture faded in the back of his mind, though, and Mark suddenly felt like the entire world was on fast-forward while he stood, left behind, a blur lingering too long on thoughts of another.

Then class was over and it was noon and Mark was walking to the student center, and oh my God, Taeyong was standing in the parking lot just outside, waiting for him. He was dressed in dark jeans and a red t-shirt, his signature dangly earrings twinkling in the sunlight when he moved.

The senior was leaning against his car, fiddling with his phone, but when he saw Mark walk up, he straightened and waved.

“Mark!” Taeyong smiled just as the sun came out from behind the clouds. The glow of the sun surrounded him, glinting off his car’s hood. Mark shielded his eyes.

Radiant.

He was radiant.

“Hey,” Mark said when he got closer. “You, uh, you look nice.” _Goddammit, why am I so awkward._

But Taeyong just beamed at him, saying “Thanks. Now, come on, let’s go. I’m starving.”

They got in the car together. Mark hadn’t paid that much attention to anything save the interior the night before, but it seemed like a good car, sturdy and unfailing, its faded black paint peeling a bit in a few places. He supposed that was normal for most college students. Taeyong patted the dashboard lovingly before he started it off, smiling as the engine purred to life.

“I’m not sure if I introduced you to my baby last night,” he said.

“Your baby?” Mark echoed.

“This car.” There was a laugh in Taeyong’s eyes, glittering like a secret. “Not a real _baby._ ”

“Oh, right. Of course.” His face was red; he could feel it. Taeyong didn’t seem to mind.

“His name is Greg. He’s kind of old and a bit grumpy, but he seems to like you.”

Now it was Mark’s turn not to laugh. “Greg?”

“Yeah, it came to me when I first got this car. He looked like a Greg.”

Taeyong turned out of the campus parking lot, taking them down the street into the main area of the town. Mark could never ignore that rush he got from leaving campus, going somewhere new, like an _adventure._ He rolled down the passenger’s side window and stuck his hand out, sighing happily.

“Glad to be off-campus?” Taeyong asked, giving Mark a sideways smile that seemed knowing.

“Yeah.” Mark left the window open, enjoying the breeze. “It’s always so nice to go somewhere else.”

Taeyong nodded. “I remember how it was living in the dorms. Apartment life is so much better. There’s so much more you can do!”

“Having a car is also nice.”

“True.” Taeyong glanced at him. He seemed to want to say more, but then he gave a small shake of his head and looked back at the road. The silence that followed made Mark feel awkward, like something was wrong, so he cleared his throat, hoping to fill the quiet.

Taeyong beat him to it.

“Sorry,” he said, “I’m a bit … out of practice, I guess.”

That was not what Mark had expected him to say at all. “Out of practice?”

“With this, the whole, you know, dating thing.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so I’m sorry if I seem a bit awkward. I’ll get back into the swing of it.”

_Awkward._ The word that seemed to describe everything about Mark and nothing about Taeyong. He couldn’t imagine someone so brilliant and beautiful feeling awkward, and suddenly, he felt all the worry tensing up his shoulders dissipate.

Taeyong was _nervous._

_Oh my God._ His brain did that disconnect thing again before he could stop it. “I mean, you have no reason to be nervous. You’re beautiful.” The moment the words left his mouth, he froze, face heating up again. Taeyong seemed equally as surprised, glancing at Mark, a soft blush gracing his cheeks before he looked away.

“Thank you,” he murmured. Again, he seemed like he wanted to say something else, add to the strange and dangerous conversation they were having, but he cut himself off. “Ah, we’re here.”

Mark’s face was still hot. He patted at it discreetly when Taeyong got out of the car, dismayed to find that it felt hot to the touch too. Damn it. He couldn’t go into the restaurant like this. He could go duck into the bathroom, splash some cold water on his face. That would probably help.

The passenger’s side door opened. Taeyong peered in, looking confused. “Everything all right?”

“U-uh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” He got out, ducking his head a bit, squeaking in surprise when Taeyong’s thin fingers suddenly tangled with his.

“Is this okay?” the senior asked.

Mark nodded, face heating up where it had just started to cool off. _Shit._ But one glance at Taeyong, strangely, made him feel a bit better; just the knowledge that the senior was there, that he was _real_ , seemed to be enough to calm him down. Mark squeezed the older man’s hand as they walked into the restaurant, emboldened by the squeeze he got in return.

The place was just as Taeyong described it—a little modern café with soup and salad options, sandwiches on flatbread and gluten-free slices. Inside, a variety of rounded wooden tables were placed around, and in the center, like a coffeehouse, was a bar where people placed their orders and picked them up. Self-serve, then.

“They also serve coffee,” Taeyong said. “I think that used to be their main focus, but their food is really good, too.”

Mark’s face felt better. Taeyong’s hand was still in his, a nice reminder, as they went up to order. Taeyong got a soup and salad combo, and Mark got a sandwich. They both ordered coffee as well—overpriced iced lattes with too many added flavors and a shit ton of sugar. Perfect.

“Together or separate?” the cashier asked.

“Together,” Taeyong said.

“Separate,” Mark said at the same time, his eyes widening. “Hey, no, I can pay—”

“Nonsense.” Taeyong gave the cashier his card before Mark could say anything more, his resulting smile small but victorious.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” Taeyong gestured him over to a nearby table.

It was situated near a window, letting the sunlight stream through in golden streaks. When Taeyong sat down, the rays illuminated his dark hair and the bits of blue visible, bouncing off it like it was made of silk. Mark couldn’t look away. The words he said in the car came back to him, teetering on the edge of his lips.

_You’re beautiful. All of you. Inside and out. Radiant._

Mark had never used ‘radiant’ to describe a human, never thought it was a word he would associate with another person, but there he was, sitting in an overpriced hipster café with someone who could _only_ be described with that word. It was surreal, and Mark felt out-of-place but also welcome in the strangest way possible.

Most of the date was just talking. They got their food after a while and compared tastes; Mark let Taeyong try his sandwich because he kept saying how good it was, to which the senior wholeheartedly agreed. Their coffee was good too, giving Mark a much-needed boost to get him through the rest of the day. He hated that they would have to leave soon, that he had classes to get to and a life to focus on; he wanted none of that. He wanted only to sit here, watching as the afternoon light caressed Taeyong’s features, glinting off his jewelry, warming his eyes.

Eventually, it was time to leave. They left a tip at their table before heading out, and Mark had almost forgotten about their strange conversation until they got back into Taeyong’s car. Then he was all nervous again, trying to decide if they should start back where they left off since neither of them had acknowledge anything in the café.

But again, Taeyong beat him to it.

“So,” he said, lingering on the word as they pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to campus. “About what you said earlier …”

Mark didn’t have to ask for clarification. He knew they were both thinking the same thing. He hesitated, glancing surreptitiously at the older male, before looking down at the hands he had clenched in his lap. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Johnny was in his head, telling him to just _go for it, goddammit_ , and in a moment of insanity, he did.

“I really like you,” he said, barreling forward. “I think you’re beautiful and kind and amazing, and I kind of want to stare at you and hold your hand forever, if that’s okay. I—I just don’t really understand, I guess.”

“Understand?” Taeyong seemed surprised. His hands were clenching the steering wheel, nervous energy radiating off him in waves. A blush dusted his cheeks.

“Why … you’re interested in me.”

Taeyong looked at him, dark eyes searching. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

That alone was enough to send Mark reeling, throw him off-balance until it felt like the entire world had shifted a little bit and he was left standing sideways in the aftermath. _Why wouldn’t I be?_ It was close to what Johnny said before, but hearing it from Taeyong punched all the breath from his lungs.

“It’s just … you’re so beautiful and amazing and sure of yourself, and I’m so _awkward_ and I just—”

Taeyong grabbed his hand, still watching the road. Mark shut up.

“Mark,” the older man said. He screwed up his face, frowning. “Hold on. Let me just …” He pulled into the student center parking lot. Mark started, surprised; he hadn’t realized they were that close to being back.

Once Taeyong had parked, he turned to face Mark, still holding his hand.

“Mark, I don’t think you get it,” the senior said. His face was so close to Mark’s, just a hairsbreadth away. “I like you too. I thought I made that obvious. And I like you because you’re sweet and you’re kind and you’re handsome as all hell. What does it matter if you’re a little awkward sometimes? We all are, in our own way. I thought I was pretty awkward earlier.”

Mark stared at him, overwhelmed. “You … you think I’m handsome?”

“Of course I do.”

“Oh.” He thought he would melt, maybe, or fly away. He felt like he was floating, untethered, lost in the stars. A moment of madness had him leaning closer, closer until he could feel Taeyong’s breath against his lips. The senior’s eyes were wide, as if he hadn’t expected this. Mark realized he liked when he caught him off-guard.

“Can I?” he murmured.

Taeyong nodded.

Mark closed the miniscule distance between them, pressing his lips gently to the older man’s. A couple things happened then—first, Mark was sure he felt sparks when their lips met. Second, Taeyong melted into the kiss, his eyes fluttering shut as he reached up to place a delicate hand on his shoulder, and Mark was sure he’d died and gone to heaven.

When they broke, both were flushed, breathing hard, eyes wide as they looked at each other in surprise.

“That … that was …” Mark stammered.

Taeyong pressed the pad of his fingers to his lips. “That … was nice.”

“It was.” Mark’s phone beeped a notification. _Ten minutes until class!_ He sighed, pulling away even though he didn’t want to. “I … I have to go.”

Taeyong pouted. “Can I see you tonight?”

“Yes.” _Yes, of course, always._ Taeyong wanted to see him, wanted to hang out with him. Taeyong _liked_ him. Mark legitimately could not fathom what he’d done to deserve this, but he wasn’t about to question it. “Will you be at the studio?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Always.”

“I’ll be there.”

Mark walked to class with a skip in his step and the memory of Taeyong’s lips on his.

His sudden and joyous change of mood did not go unnoticed among his friend group, but Mark couldn’t find it in him to care about the teasing. Whenever they hung out now, Taeyong was there too, slotting into his friend group like it was natural and bringing a few of his own buddies as well. Most notably was Lucas, the loud sophomore who seemed to have no idea exactly how loud he was, but Mark found that he was kind and easy to get along with. There was also Taeil, the quiet senior vocal major, and Ten, a fellow dance major Mark had seen in shows a few times.

That night, Mark sat down in the caf with his friends. It was loud, the food wasn’t great, but he found he was happy. He felt like he was glowing from the inside, flushed with joy. He was a freshman, still unsure of his place in the world, but for now, this was where he wanted to be. For now, he wanted nothing more than this.

Taeyong joined them not long later, scooting in close and resting his hand on Mark’s leg under the table even as he chatted and laughed with Johnny and Yuta. Donghyuck gave Mark a knowing look, wiggling his eyebrows, but Mark ignored it. Instead, he leaned into Taeyong’s side, smiling even as he ate shitty caf food and contemplated his future.

For now, this was all he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by the lyrics of "Fool" (obvs). I kind of just started writing a scene for a college AU because I love those, and then this just exploded. Apparently I can't write anything less than 5,000 words anymore OTL
> 
> Oh, also. I got a new Twitter! @nakahomoyuta


End file.
